It's Complicated
by Fahriya Hajinski
Summary: It is their sixth year at Hogwarts. After recalling old childhood memories with Draco, Hermione reflects on the current situation. She saw Draco cry in the abandoned girl's bathroom and wonders what could cause such a breakdown. She startes receiving anonymous letters, from a mysterious student, slowly getting consumed. Yet after the Christmas ball, everything changes...
1. Chapter 2

1\. Metamorphosis

A very old memory suddenly struck her. It was a sunny day back then. A little curly girl and her mom in the Saint- James park, full of people of different ages, reading, sleeping, playing, getting a tan and so on. The mother was sitting on the bench watching her little daughter play on the grass. The little girl's hair was so curly that it reminded of a big bush. She threw a ball to her dog in an attempt to play, yet he was rather old for that, and instead of wagging is tail and chasing it, he just glanced lazily at the girl and continued sleeping.

-Oh honey, Archie is no longer a puppy, he is very old. I'm sorry but he isn't able to play with you anymore, his old bones are too weak for that, just let him sleep okay sweetie? Now would you please go and find the ball yourself? We have to get going, your dad is waiting for us at home, - Her mother was a rather short woman with brown hair and beautiful green eyes, which had kept so much love and care inside of them. She stood up and straightened the wrinkles on her white dress, - I will be here, dont worry.

-Yes, mommy, - the little girl was upset that Archie won't play with her anymore, yet she was an obedient girl, therefore she stood up and ran after the ball.

She didn't get too far, when a little blond boy, at the age of 4-5, just like herself ran up to her holding her pink ball covered with flower prints. She noticed that he was dressed strangely. The little boy was dressed in a black robe, completely covering his feet. But the girl knew that staring was impolite, so she shifted her gaze at the blond's face and simply said:

-Hi.

-Hi, - the little boy replied, a bit shyly, - umm is this your ball? I found it over here, - he handed her the ball, gesturing to the place where his feet were standing.

\- Oh, yes! Thank you, - she took her ball and smiled at the boy, her cheeks rosy-red from the heat.

-My name is - He was about to say his name, when suddenly a tall man with long blond hair, just like the boy's and a black robe, similar to his, grabbed the boy by the hand and said:

-I'm afraid you won't have time to introduce yourself to the little miss. Excuse us, we have to go. - The tall man observed her quickly with his light blue, almost white eyes, seeming to be very cold. She didn't like the way he looked at her. His gaze was contemptuous, as if he was silently mocking her, considering her to be...to be… to be what? At such a small age she couldn't completely comprehend her feelings towards that man.

-Good bye!, - the blond boy cried out quickly before disappearing behind his father's figure.

-Bye-bye,- the little girl replied, having mixed feelings. She was so lonely, without any fellows or anything like that, and now she was happy to make a new friend, yet thanks to his most probably, father, she didn't even know his name and she probably wouldn't see him again.

Yet there he was. Hermione got back to reality and looked up. The picture that she was currently observing brought a lot of confusion to her. Draco was standing in front of the sink, his back bent, and crying, crying very loudly, his shoulders shaking violently, just like it happens when you can't stop yourself from wheeping and shuddering helplessly. Helpless, is this the correct word to use regarding him in this situation? Was he helpless? She didn't know. She didn't even know what had caused such a bad break down to a boy who's feelings were all locked up deep inside long ago. she only knew one thing. Draco was no longer the little shy, yet friendly boy who had helped her 11 years ago. He was different now. Arrogant, show-off, bully, particularly towards her. Hermione couldn't understand what made him like that and why was he so mean to her, at first, but now she got used to of the offensive things that he called her, and the little pranks that he played on her. She hated it, she hated him and she was trying to stay away from the nasty Slytherin company. All of those childish feelings that she felt long ago were gone. She even forgot that he was different ages ago. The last time when she saw him like this was the distribution of students to their colleges.

They were surprised to see each other there, both being a witch and a wizard. They chatted for a while sharing impressions and hopes, before being separated. Draco smiled cheerfully at her back then, right before his name was announced. He walked up to the chair, sitting down clumsily his gaze kept searching for her. He even waved, oh how innocent it all was back then! As soon as Hermione heard the hat shout out 'Slytherin', her expectations had slowly started breaking down, but she still hoped that it won't change him, that people in Slytherin aren't that bad at the end. Yet she was mistaken. When she saw him many days later, he barely looked at her and his manner of speaking seemed to have changed. He was always referring to his father, all the money and power that they had. But the last drop was when she heard his rude and disrespectful perspectives against halfbloods that he shared with his father, - Lucius Malfoy.. The last tiny hope that lived in her heart was ruined. Her parents were muggles, and she was born a witch by chance. There were many prejudices against halfbloods, particularly among Slytherins, but when she heard the word 'mudblood' easily come out of Draco's mouth in second year, her pride was wounded, and they stopped being friends ever since.


	2. The Mirror

CHAPTER 2

THE MIRROR.

Draco was crying, his shoulders were raising up and down rapidly and he couldn't stop it. He was in the abandoned girls' bathroom, hiding from curious looks. He finally lifted his head and looked up at the reflection in the mirror. White, almost as a paper skin, with a tone of a corpse, shuddering lips, platinum hair messed up and wet from water, and finally the pale grey eyes full of unbearable pain, fear and guilt. Draco couldn't recognize himself anymore. He had been going through so many things, that he didn't bother to look at the mirrors lately, and all he could see now was a hurt, scared boy. He hated it, and raised his fist to break the stupid glass in agony, when he suddenly saw something else in it. Taken a back by this, Draco turned instantly raising his wand, ready to blast a torchurous spell at anyone who dared to see him at this state. Yet after seeing properly who it was, he dropped his hand and turned away, burning with shame and disdain.

Granger.., - he couldn't really think of anything better to say, he was certainly not in the right mood for mockery.

Draco, I…, - Hermione was embarrassed, exposed like this, she didn't want him to think that she was spying, - I was just passing by..i had to go to, -

Sure you were, - Draco knew she was lying, the bathroom was in the corner of nowhere, you could only get there if that exactly was your goal.

Look I'm sorry, I didn't mean to spy on you, - she was now actually worried about the situation, - are you…what happened?

Draco stood silent, he suddenly stopped crying and the last tear dropped of his cheek and landed on the wet floor with a soft splash. All this time he was standing with his back on Hermione not wanting her to see his messed-up face. He felt like a little boy, scolded for crying. Draco quickly pushed down his sleeves before finally turning around. She changed so much.. when was the last time that he saw her? Pushing these disturbing thoughts away, Draco contemplated Hermione's last question. How was he supposed to answer to that? Tell her the truth? Merlin beard, no she would totally start a fight against him along with Ron and Harry. Lie? What could he possibly make up? He failed a test? He never really cared about bad marks. He had an emotional breakdown? Well, that's simply girly, plus he would still have to tell her the truth. Yet…. maybe he could trust her? She was the only one who actually seemed to ask him about his well-being, but why? 'How stupid I am', he thought, how could SHE possibly care? She probably just wanted to make sure that he wasn't planning on some evil-slytherin plan. Oh God, how childish and innocent it all seems now, compared to his real problems.

Why are you here?

I heard this noise, and I decided to see what's wrong, - Hermione's face was red, she suddenly realized that she made a big mistake. She shouldn't have come at all. Why is she still here in first place? – Anyways, I have a lesson now so I should go.

It's the end of the day, Granger, - now Draco forgot about his problems for a while, amusing himself.,- Are you scared that I'll do something BAD?, - He pulled the word in a mocking way, knowing it would annoy her.

Yeah, well, I don't have time for this, Malfoy, - she turned away making her way out. Feeling completely confused she picked up a backpack that she dropped earlier. This was all a joke of course, proving her naïveté. What else could she expect from Malfoy? He was always this whiny actor, dragging all of the attention to himself.

Granger, - Draco called, not really knowing why had he called her and now, cursing himself internally, thinking of something to say, - I'm surprised that you came without your pathetic friends, - the words dropped of his tongue before he could think. Now, he completely ruined everything. He himself was shocked at this sudden change of mood. Was he doing the same thing as years ago? Covering up his misery with bullying? And suddenly, everything that he was crying about crushed on him with new force. Draco broke the glass finally, letting out a quiet sight.

Hermione ignored his last remark, not surprised by it, thanks to Malfoy himself, she got used to it as years past. She was outside, heading to the stairs when she heard a sound of breaking glass in the old bathroom. It was strange, all of his mood swings, and mockery. Or was it just a façade? Hermione didn't know, but she certainly wasn't returning back in there.


	3. Those ink and parchment

THE LETTER

A week had past after that incident with Draco now. Hermione was in the Gryffindor common room, talking to Ron and Harry while piling up her as always, neatly completed homework.

Still, that was embarrassing, - Hermione scolded Ron softly for his stupid joke on Ms. Trelawney's lesson about an upcoming unpleasantness, and farting afterwards.

I know I know, but wasn't it funny after all?!, - Ron couldn't stop laughing, and Harry along with him.

When will you two grow up already? – Hermione rolled her eyes, yet you can see that she lifted the corners of her mouth a tinsy bit. She took all of the papers, and started filling them into different books, in order to make everything look more accurate. Just as she took the last book, she saw that the edges of the pages looked slightly curled. This sight, had reminded Hermione that the book got wet, when she dropped her bag in the abandoned girls' bathroom about a week or so.

Hermione, are you okay?..- Harry and Ron finally stopped giggling, and were ready to go to the boys' dormitory, when they saw that Hermione froze, looking at the spell book.

Me? Um, oh.. yeah, I'm great, why? – She shook her head and looked at the boys with a fake smile, - Uh, you know what? I'm very tired, actually, so I'll go to sleep, good night!

Good night.. – Ron and Harry stood there slightly confused by their friends behavior.

What can I say, it's Hermione, she is always like that, - Ron yawned finally heading to their dormitory. Harry followed him, feeling the exhaustion spread among his entire body, after the long Quidditch session.

Hermione walked to the girls' dormitory automatically, still thinking about what happened. Why did she even zone out like that? Deciding to forget about this, and rather focus on important things, Hermione went to bed, and fell asleep almost immediately.

Draco was mad. He was reading another letter from his parents and lost any willing to go home for Christmas in 4 months. His father was pressuring him, again. Asking whether he had improved his marks to the point where even 'that filthy mudblood', as his father called her, couldn't compete with him. His following questions were about joining the Slytherin Quidditch team, after a three years break, and other Malfoy-style bragging and propaganda. Draco folded it into a tiny square and put it away in his bag, postponing the reply. He started feeling sick of his father's infinite control over him, yet he didn't think that he could do pretty much anything. He was too weak and had no power, in comparison to Lucious Malfoy, so he decided to just carry on until he knows what to do with the whole situation. But there was something else, that was slowly ruining his inner balance (which he never really had anyway), and Draco didn't tell anyone.

Every time Draco went to sleep, he saw those awful nightmares. That violence, coldness, murderous spells, his father, and…Him. It always went the same way: Draco was trying to run away, but the black sign was burning on his hand, dragging him back to the Dark lord and forcing to kill. It was someone important, but he didn't know who, he couldn't see. Every time he was trying to see, almost burning his eyes out, to determine who that person was, that made him so anxious in the dream. Then, a green, murderous light from his wand, and everything was done.

Once again, Draco woke up from that madness, shaking. He quietly slid out of the bed, trying not to wake anyone up, good manners were crucial in the Malfoy family, and headed to the common room. Still not really knowing what he himself was up to, he sank into an armchair rubbing his eyes tiredly. He couldn't understand why those nightmares kept haunting him, and even more, why did they affected him so much? Sighting in annoyance, he suddenly got an idea.

Draco raised from the soft wheelchair, and walked over to the table, picking up his fancy feather and a blank parchment.


	4. Not tooo cliche

R

Hermione was having an awful day. She was late for the Professor Snape's lesson, and the Gryffindor college lost five points because of her! Later that day, she failed to complete a spell on the transformations lesson, and on top of all that, she missed lunch while reading in the library. Great! Hermione felt like this day, she had failed and disappointed every single person who had respected her at least a little bit. It might sound a bit silly, yet the level of Hermione's ambitions and self-critics was higher than anybody else's. Not willing to talk to anyone, even Harry and Ron, in the evening, Hermione went to have a bath in the bathroom for six graders. While sinking in the bubbly bath with her eyes closed, Hermione was trying to memorize each essay and book that she had written or read during the past week, such thoughts helped her to let go all the tension. Replaying every word or sentence that caught her attention. Being all rosy, and relaxed, she finally forced herself to get out of the bath, wrap herself into the towel, and start changing into her pajama.

When Hermione eventually got into the Gryffindor girls' dormitory, and was about to throw herself onto the bed, an owl suddenly caught her attention. It was the school owl, because Hermione didn't have one herself, instead she had a big fat ginger cat named Crookshanks. When Hermione decided to have a look at what had been sent, the owl flew away. It was a letter. Hermione almost put it away on her table, thinking that it was from her parents and she could read it later, she noticed that the address was Hogwarts. Feeling slightly intrigued, Hermione climbed onto her bed with the letter in her hands, covering herself with the blankets, since it was rather chilly. When she finally opened it, the first thing that she had noticed, was beautifully curled and complicated handwriting. Now, completely interested, Hermione started reading it, with her eyes slowly sliding over each sentence, in an attempt to catch the meaning properly. And here is the letter, which Hermione had been studying so thoroughly:

"Dear Hermione,

I know that this letter has come as a surprise to you. To me as well, trust me. I didn't expect myself sitting in the common room, at 3 AM scribbling a letter to you. Now that I thought about it, I even doubt sending it… Yet, I feel like it is the only way for me to somehow deal with everything that is going on. In my life, I mean. I thought, for some reason, that writing a letter to a person who doesn't know me, would help me release some of the negativity and thoughts that are laying on my chest as a heavy weight.

I do not intend to splash everything out instantly, not just yet, there is so much. There is so much that I would like to tell you. Maybe even in person, but that's never going to happen, so it's better to forget about it. Ugh, seems like I've already written so much and nothing at all at the same time… This letter is so messed up. I just don't know where to start from? Now? The past? Future Or maybe all at the same time? I think I will start from the past, to clear things up a bit… Oh dammit, it is so stupid! You will probably want to throw this away, or maybe burn, and you have every right to do that. Why should you waste your time on reading a whining letter from a stranger? Even if so, at least laying it all out on the paper will be relieving.

Starting from probably my very birth, my parents have been deciding everything for me. What should I dress like, say, do, draw, write and even think! Can you imagine somebody forcing their own mentality onto you? Im quite sure that not, your parents are muggles, yet here you are, in Hogwarts. Well, let me tell you, - it Is awful! And very annoying too, actually. Sometimes I feel like they will end up intervening in what I think about a wand, that I saw. Jeez… Might happen tho… However, I am not ready to tell you the topic regarding which, they have built up my opinions. I was taught to think the same way as my entire family line did, and not even let another thought slip into my head, or I will have a 'talk' with my father. He doesn't abuse me physically, no. Just puts a lot of pressure on my psychological state, and trust me, it sucks. This probably is the main reason for me, not to change anything, and be the son that they want. I am a weak person, you can conclude. I have realized that too. And, to be honest, I don't like myself. I don't like the person, that I have become at all. I am not the version of myself that I have dreamt about long ago… I wish I could change. I want to, actually. I want to change more than anything else in the world, Hermione. Trust me, I do not want to be like this. I hate the way I am; I can't tell you why yet. Not yet. Along with working on the metamorphosis inside me, I am also trying to figure out what is going on with my mental state. I have problems, Hermione. Many of them, but I'll leave that for the next time. Probably. Not sure if you will even consider this letter.

I am sorry for not telling you who I am, because if I will, it might ruin everything.. Don't be afraid, I am not a murderer or anything like that. Just a messed up teen. Don't wanna leave something like 'mysterious stranger', or 'anonym', it will be way toooo cliché, how do you think?

P.S. If you do reply, (I think my imagination had gone too far), do tell me about yourself. I mean, I know you, but I don't think that I actually do. I would love to know, how is your life going, what do you feel now particularly? I don't know, anything

P.P.S. Just understood that I haven't mentioned my gender. I am a boy, if you were wondering

."

Hermione finished reading the letter for the third time already, but she still couldn't manage to figure out that person. She felt many different emotions while reading it. First – surprise, then concentration, interest, and compassion. Hermione wasn't the type to neglect help, if it was needed, besides, now she got completely consumed by the content of the letter. Why would anyone trust her? She knew that she was trustworthy, yet what stranger could do that? Means, that they are definitely acquainted. Suddenly Hermione felt guilty for being so angry and anxious because of her 'fails' throughout the day. It was nothing, in comparison to what the boy had written. It seemed like he really was going through some serious stuff in his life. Yet suddenly a completely different thought popped in Hermione's head. What if it is just a joke, proving how naïve she was. Hermione sighted, completely confused. She didn't want to think about it, because then it would turn out as a nasty prank from one of the Slytherins and she didn't want to have any trust issues. Hermione tugged tighter onto the pillow and closed her eyes, memorizing the lines of the letter that she neatly folded and put in her bag, on more time. It wasn't written in a jokingly manner. It seemed to be very real. Sincere. Pushing away all of the bad thoughts, Hermione decided that she would write a reply tomorrow, after lessons, and drowned into sleep.


	5. Dear, Interlocutor

\+ HE WAS TERRIBLY WRONG

Draco was climbing up the stairs to get to the transformations class, chatting with Blaze on the way. Well, it was mostly Blaze talking, Draco wasn't really listening, it was probably some brag about the gold that he and his mother possess. Draco wasn't interested in that, instead his mind was occupied with completely different thoughts. He thought about studying, once in a long while. He realized that recently, due to his depression, he didn't even put that much effort in his essays, or projects, which was, pretty much unsatisfying, especially to his parents. Draco pushed the thought about parents away, he was trying to understand how did he, himself feel about it. After a few minutes of contemplating, he realized that he actually needs it. Not only as a benefit in his future, but as a distraction from his mood as well. He decided, that spending a couple of hours on doing homework, will save him both from his anxiety and black thoughts, and his annoying fake friends as well. With these, slightly refreshing thoughts, Draco found himself already standing in front of the classroom, just as the bell had rang. Great, he was on time.

-Take your seats, Mr. Malfoy, Mr. Zabini, - Professor Mcgonagol's voice had ordered. She seemed to be so old, yet her power was always there with her.

Draco gathered his eyes around the class and found an empty desk, just perfect for him. He quietly placed his books on the table, opened the right page, and placed his chin on his hand, ready to listen to the lesson. A couple of curious Gryffindor's had glanced back at him, whispering something as they turned away. Draco already got used to it. They always behaved that way, spying on him, sending those glares, which said 'what is up with our famous bully, huh?'. And as much as he hated to admit it, he didn't feel like doing or even saying anything. He would just stare back emotionlessly, making them turn away instantly. There was only one person who didn't stare at him that way, and it was Hermione Granger. The one person whom he bullied the most, didn't seem to care. She didn't even look. Her mind and interest were more concentrated on the book and the professor, which Draco had pretty much appreciated.

-Miss Granger, would you like to demonstrate us the spell that we practiced last year? The one that

Turned an animal into another specie?

Hermione stood up confidently, raised her wand, and the grey little bunny, which was placed on her

table, transformed into a crow

-Brilliant! – Professor McGonagol was obviously proud of her best student, - Five points to Gryffindor.

Hermione sat down, looking satisfied with herself, returning happy smiles to Harry and Ron. Ugh, those friends of hers. Draco couldn't help but be jealous of their strong friendship. He never had friends like that. And since the very first year at Hogwarts it was the one thing that he had envied the most. The way that they always had each other's back, laughed together, helped each other. These things were completely distant to Draco. Yet one part of him was happy, that she had friends like that, considering the fact that they always stood up for her when he was being a bully. Suddenly, Draco realized the weirdness of this thought, and he locked it up somewhere deep inside, and continued listening, until the lesson had finished.

When he was walking out of class, he had noticed that someone was looking at him. As he turned his head, he saw that it was Hermione. He returned the gaze. She looked questioningly, angry, pissed off, and slightly confused at him. In his gaze, was confusion, and a hint of guilt. But as soon as Draco understood that a couple of seconds had passed, he turned around or walked away quickly, blending in the crowd. He couldn't think of anything better. Locking his eyes with her judgmental look, was unbearable for him. He couldn't stand more judging, even though he knew that it was his fault. She probably thought that he pranked her that time in the bathroom, yet, it was just a pathetic act to make himself look better than a crying Malfoy. Engulfed in these thoughts, Draco suddenly bumped into someone. It was his least favorite person in the world, - Ron Weasley. That foolish red-haired boy, whose face was asking for a couple of nice words. Yet, Draco already felt bad enough, so he wanted to go, when suddenly he heard Weasley's voice from the back:

Watch where you're going platinic ferret! Probably don't see anything besides your own highness, huh? You hear me Malfoy?

The Gryffindors laughed loudly, pointing their fingers at him. Draco sighed. There was so much mockery in the idiot's voice, yet anyone could hear the childish hurt from the past. Hardly holding himself from sending a violent spell, Draco continued walking his way, trying to look calm from the outside. Not wanting to sit amongst all of those morons at lunch, he headed to the library. Besides, he was planning on making a research for professor Snape's lesson.

There were a few students in the library, but not too many, to ruin his concentration. Draco walked to the bookshelf and started running his eyes over various books, until he finally found what he needed. "Ancient potions and how were they used?". Thankfully, Hermione Granger wasn't there, so Draco relaxed. He sat at a table, surrounding himself with parchment, feathers and ink, ready to consume the information.

After five hours of studying, feeling completely exhausted, yet satisfied with himself, Draco entered the Slytherin common room.

Where have you been Draco? We haven't seen you at lunch, - Crabbe mumbled, throwing another cookie into his giant mouth.

Yeah, where were you dude? – Blaze turned around and looked at Draco expecting an answer.

I was at the library, - Draco said annoyingly, taking his bag of his shoulder.

Library? What were you even doing there? Stalking Gryffindors? – Blaze kept asking questions, making Draco feel completely irritated.

Why the hell would I be stalking those idiots?! Why would you care anyway, huh? I'm not supposed to explain myself, - Draco spat angrily, sending Blaze a glare, which usually made him shut up. This time, it worked as well.

Draco wanted to sit at a table far, in the corner of the room, when he heard the waving of wings, and saw his extinct black owl, which landed gracefully onto the window. He wanted to shout at his owl in rage, when suddenly it struck him. He walked slowly to the owl, all of the negative emotions leaving him instantly, and took the letter with his pale hands shaking. The address on the letter was Hogwarts. Draco looked around the room wearily, and headed to the boys' dormitory. He sat on his bed, preparing to open the letter and read what's inside. Did she actually answer? Draco's heart twisted, as he finally started reading:

"Dear Interlocutor,

Your letter did, honestly take me off guard. I did not expect a letter from parents, or friends (all of them talk to me at school every day), so I had no Idea who could that be. I still don't obviously. Yet I have read your letter, and I was really surprised, that someone would trust me like this. Why me? Even though, your personality is still a secret to me, I wanted to let you know, that, especially if it makes you feel better, it is okay to share your problems with me. I will hear you out, and try my best to give you some support. To be completely honest, at first, I really doubted the validness of this letter. I was sure that it was some prank, but later on, I understood that the lines sound so sincere... However, I do not want to think about it.

You are right, I do not know what it's like to be fully controlled and pressured by your parents, but from your description it really doesn't sound like the best thing in the world. You haven't mentioned, which themes in particular are being pressured by them, but It seems like it is something specific. Being a freedom-loving person, I don't know how I would deal with that. Probably the fact that my parents are muggles and aren't really aware of everything going on in the magic world, plays a huge role in this. I don't know what it would be like if they were wizards, so please don't think that mine are angels. Yet, I want to admit that I was thoroughly shocked with your knowledge about me. Who are you? What student could know so much about me, yet communicate through a letter? I don't know, and you shouldn't tell me at all, if you don't feel like it. I think there already is enough pressure on you.

You mentioned something about getting to know me better, if I'm not mistaken? Well, you wrote about getting anxiety in your letter. I get it too. And if to be completely honest, I am an anxious person. Funny, isn't it? Most people that know me, think that everything is going perfect for me, and that I am supposed to be in a great state of satisfaction with myself all the time, since my grades are so high, I have friends and stuff like that. But they don't know what is going on backstage. Everything is pretty much the opposite. I always get anxious when doing homework, preparing a research, writing an exam, and simply studying. This all happens due to my perfectionism. I am never fully happy or satisfied with myself, since I always feel like I should've done better, that I failed. The slightest mistake, and I can't stop thinking about it. Actually, the day that I've received your letter was one of those days, and reading your letter made me forget about all that. And now, once again I feel like I'm struggling with some stupidity, which I call a problem, because some people just hate me for getting nervous on exams. They shout at me, saying that I have literally nothing to worry about, and if they were me they would stop showing off and acting on public to get attention. But they aren't me. This really ruins my mood sometimes. Especially when I get called names, like 'show-off', or 'mudblood', - (Draco's heart tore at this one). I try to ignore it, but I just can't. I feel like everything that I tried for, just falls apart, and I just don't know what to do about me reacting like that. Harry and Ron are my best friends, but even they can't really understand me, and I don't blame them for that at all. I think I just realized that this letter could be some sort of relief for both of us. Anyways, enough of me.

You mentioned something about your mental state? What exactly startles you? I think, now that I've answered the letter you can feel free to share this with me. And if you were wondering, I didn't tell anyone about what you wrote me, or even the letter itself, so no worries.

I can't believe that I just wrote all of that,

Hermione.

P.S. One more question, if I may. How old is the messed up teen whom I just answered? "


	6. Lonely

Lonely

-Careful, Malfoy! – Hermione said angrily, when he bumped into her. Draco said nothing, just lowered his gaze slightly, and walked away.

-Do you want me to say a couple of words to him? – Ron was heading to the lunch along with Hermione and Harry.

-No, Ron, I don't want it. It was just an accident and I got mad okay? Let's not create new problems, - Hermione was hungry and all she wanted at the moment, was sit calmly in the dining hall, and have her meal. After lunch she had an hour of free time, and afterwards, she had to go to ancient runes, which she worked so hard on.

Finally, Hermione, Harry and Ron were sitting at the table, chewing some roasted chicken with mashed potatoes. The meal seemed to taste exceptionally good today to Hermione, all because she hadn't even ate breakfast normally.

-So, guys, what are you planning to do after lunch? – Harry said finally after swallowing a piece of broccoli, - Wanna go outside?

-Yeah, sure, - Ron had always enjoyed going outside and breathing some fresh air, something that he got because of the yard house that he lived in, - What about you, 'Mione?

-I, um, sorry guys, I'll stay in the Gryffindor's common room, have some work to do, - Well this wasn't entirely a lie, since it did include some paper work. She was planning to check if she received another letter from that mysterious student.

-Sure, Hermione. Nothing new anyway, - Harry and Ron were used to her usual 'hardworking mode', so they didn't ask any further questions. Instead, they started joking around about the library being Hermione's second home and so on.

When she finished eating, she wiped her mouth with a tissue, got up and started walking out of the Dining Hall. On her way, she was thinking of what she had written in the last letter, if it was okay enough, if she wasn't too depressing, or instead lightheaded. Ugh, the anxiety crawled up to her again, but Hermione decided not to think of that. She really couldn't wait to get to the Gryffindor's common room, yet she had to go slower, because of the crowd of students ahead of her. And right in front of her, there were Slytherins. Specifically, those whom she disliked the most – Blaze Zabini, Pansy Parkinson, Gregory Goyle, Vincent Crabbe, and him. Malfoy. She couldn't even find enough words to describe her cordial dislike towards him. He was always so arrogant, mean, artistic, and just in overall a bully. Yet she couldn't help, but notice that there was something different about him this year. As if he became more…quiet? Hermione shook her head, she should stop imagining all of that in her head, and making people seem better than they are, it won't make things any easier for her. Yet, she accidently overheard their dialogue:

-Come on, Draco aren't you going outside with us?

-I said I'm tired, Pancy. Leave me alone, - Draco pushed through the crowd, working with his elbows.

-Seems like somebody is trying to avoid us, huh? – Blaze looked at the rest of the crew with his arms crossed.

Fortunately, whatever was holding the crowd got solved, and Hermione finally rushed forward to the staircase. As she did so, she nearly hit a first grader, mumbling 'sorry!' on her way.

Closing the door into the girls' dormitory, Hermione, all excited started unwrapping the letter, that one of the school owls, had just delivered to her. Eventually, she took a deep breath, and started reading the letter:

" Dear Hermione,

I don't want to lie, your previous letter, the very fact that it had come, brought me some joy and relief. Honestly, I didn't think I would get a reply. Anyways, thank you.

Today I seemed to have a pretty good day, actually. Well, at least in comparison to the others. I didn't get that much attention paid to. Oh I forgot to tell you, due to my character, people tend to stare at me and just judge me around and stuff. Meh, I got used to it somehow. Therefore, Professor Snape, had finally showed a tinsy bit of appreciation to the work that I have done, and there is something about it that motivates me to do more, and maybe even better ( I'm a lazy ass). Except unlike you, I have quite annoying friends, which can't stop getting track of my geopostion, can you imagine? I thought that my parents were the only control freaks, but as it turned out, I was wrong. I sometimes get really angry at them, for asking me where I was, what have I been doing and etc, etc, etc. You might have thought that I don't value my friends, yet I don't even feel like calling them so anymore. More like fake friends, which I have found long ago, in an attempt to save myself from loneliness. But I suppose, that one feels himself lonelier, when surrounded by completely different people. However, I'm used to it.

You asked me about my mental state. Woah, it's quite an issue with me, you can say. No I'm not getting hallucinations or anything like that. But I feel like I'm constantly on edge and very close to a breakdown. Even though today was a good day, it wasn't flawless. Because of all the factors that I've told you about in my first letter, I think I'm in the state of depression right now. Everything is slowly piling up into one gigantic rock on my chest, and everyday it's harder and harder to carry it. Sometimes I fall so deep into these kind of thoughts, that everything around seems blurry to me, and I'm simply zoning out. I don't think it looks very attractive, does it?

I read what you've written about the anxiety that you get, and it sounds really upsetting. I feel especially sorry, that certain students have the nerve to make fun of you. It must be unpleasant. Putting so much effort, and the only thing that you hear from your peers is underestimation, or even jokes. Once again, not gonna lie and tell you that it's fine or that it's not anxiety. Well, yeah it is. It's exactly what you call it. Yet I can tell you that it could be fixed, and could be fine, just that it requires a lot of work, and support of course. So, I accept your offer of mutual help with our anxieties haha.

I apologize for keeping it short, but I think that I can hear footsteps towards the common room. Seems like I'm not that lonely after all, huh?

Yours sincerely,

Annoying git.

P.S. Tell me about your day, how did it go? What have you felt?

P.P.S. Almost forgot, I'm 16. Don't worry I'm not a little first grader planning to write crushing letters, heh. I wish I was tho."

Hermione folded the letter, and put it deep inside of her bag. She never though that communicating through letters could be this interesting. Besides, she and the mysterious interlocutor seem to have some stuff in common which makes things a little bit easier. Hermione closed her eyes for a moment, and just tried to picture him, or maybe even his life. Just now, she realized how happy she actually was, and if she was aware of this feeling, she suddenly wanted to make sure that he will be able to sense it too. She picked up a feather and a piece of parchment, and started thinking of what to write, and then creating sentences consisting of her most recent thoughts. She wanted to be just as honest and sincere as the boy. Make him feel that he is not that lonely. That she struggles too, and it's real. Hermione started picking out the most interesting moments throughout the day, thinking of the best ways to describe them.

The time went on, and Hermione got so engulfed into the process, that she lost track of time, and suddenly looked at the clock. Shhhhoot! She was late for twenty minutes already! Hermione threw everything into her bag violently, cursing herself mentally for the bad timing. She had to write it before going to sleep. Hermione ran towards the staircase, and started skipping one or two on her way down, in order to come quicker, yet! Merlin's beard, her leg slipped too early, and Hermione felt like she didn't wait a single gram, bouncing into the air, and then, everything went black.


	7. Not only a letter

NOT JUST A LETTER

Hermione woke up to the sound of Madam Pomphrey talking loudly to someone:

-No, I can't let an owl in here, it's a sanitary place! Shooo, shoo!

Hermione lifted herself up slightly on a shoulder, to look around, when she suddenly felt strong pain spreading in her right leg. Wait, what? She laid back down, already understanding, that she was in the school infirmary. Yet, she still didn't quite remember coming here, when the memory popped in her head itself. She was running down the stairs quickly, angry at herself for being late, and then her leg slipped and the next thing she saw was the paper white ceiling in the room. As Hermione had concluded, she broke her leg, but hopefully, it will heal quick due to the potions that Madam Pomphrey has in her possession.

Excuse me, Madam Pomphrey? – Hermione wanted to find out exactly what was wrong, so she called for the school physician.

Yes, honey? – Madam Pomphrey was wiping her hands with a towel after washing them intensely.

Um, uh, so what exactly happened to me? – Hermione was trying to speak straight, but due to the excruciating pain, her voice was barely heard and shaky.

Oh, I'm sorry, dear, I completely forgot that you weren't conscious when they brought you here. You broke your leg on the stairs, where were you rushing?

I was late for a lesson. How bad is it? – Hermione mentally twisted her fingers, she wanted it to be something small, so that she could go back to studying tomorrow.

It is badly broken, darling. I was honestly, shocked to see that a bone can scatter into tiny pieces like that, - Madam Pomphrey looked at Hermione with confusion.

What? No, no, no, it can't be scattered! I mean, what about the lessons? I can't miss them! I… How long will it take to heal?.. – Hermione was frustrated, she couldn't just lay here, missing the studying! She had to fix it as soon as possible.

More than overnight for sure, sweetheart. About a week. As I said, this isn't the most easy case, so even my potion will need sometime, to put your leg bone back, piece by piece – She looked at Hermione with kindness of the elderly, and added, - But don't you worry, child, it will heal up.

Hermione tried to nod, with a weak smile, as Madam Pomphrey left her room. She wasn't worried about being fine, it was the education that bothered her. How could she, among all witches and wizards, be the one to skip lessons for a week! She had to find a way out. Yes, exactly, she will ask Ron and Harry to bring her the books, parchment, and other school supplies, so that she could keep up with the process. She was thinking about this, when she heard Madam Pomphrey come into her room again:

-Oh, I almost forgot, the old head of mine! – She chuckled to herself, - An owl delivered you something.

Madam Pomphrey handed the package in a brown paper to Hermione, and left.

-Thank you! – Hermione screamed a bit too late.

Now that she saw the package, the thoughts about lessons went to the back of her conscience for a while. Who was it from? And then Hermione suddenly remembered, that she didn't even manage to write her letter to that student. However, she started unpacking.

It was a letter, yet not the only thing that the package had included. Hermione couldn't believe it. She felt her face get the slightest tone of pink, as she smiled to herself. There was a purple box of chocolate, decorated with a bow, and a small basket of miniature flowers. Those were peonies, lilies, chamomiles, and a few types of wildflowers. Hermione's mood lightened a lot more, as she kept observing her mail. Flowers, chocolate, it was so nice of him! This little gesture, had made her smile. Yet then, she realized, - did he know that she was here, in the infirmary? And only then, Hermione finally remembered about the letter, and picked it up. It was shorter than the rest of them. Obviously, she thought to herself, he didn't even get a reply.

"Dear Hermione,

I heard that you were put into the infirmary? What happened are you okay? Fine, it sounds kinda stupid of me, of course you aren't. I mean, who would put a person that is okay into an infirmary? (Hermione chuckled at this one, she already got used to his style of writing). The only thing that I wonder about, is how the heck did you, of all people end up there, huh? You don't even play Quidditch or anything. I can imagine you flying around on the broom, trying to save yourself from the ball, and defend the ring at the same time… Sorry, I'm being silly again.

However, I hope that whatever had happened, is easily healable, and that you'll be fine soon. Of course you will, I'm sure it's something that Madam Pomphrey can handle. The only thing that concerns me is your mood right now. I'm pretty sure that the first thing that came to your mind was studying, and I just wanted to tell you not to worry. I know, you're probably aware of that, it's easy to say, yet I mean it. Since I want to help you fight anxiety, I won't let it crawl up to you. Tell you what, it is fine to be concerned about learning, since you're like a real hardworker, yet don't get it too far. Skipping a couple of days shouldn't affect you. You can ask Harry or Ron, to get you all you need for doing homework, and it will be great! Everything will be just right, I assure you. Just don't be too hard on yourself, okay?

I know it's sort of selfish to say this now, but I haven't received a reply last time, and I just hope that I wasn't mean or anything like that. If I was, just let me know, and I'll deal with my annoying self, ok? Thank you so much. I guess the reason for that is most probably the fact that you got into traumatized. No, don't think that I took the responsibility off my shoulders, I'm just trying to sound logical. Oh who am I trying to fool. I am arrogant. However, you're tired at the moment anyway, so I won't exhaust you with the crap I say any longer,

That student.

P.S. Oh and by the way, I sent you a little 'oh I heard that you got into the infirmary and I hope you'll be fine' gift. I hope it makes you feel a bit better.

P.P.S Last time I checked, my taste in chocolate was excellent."

Hermione couldn't help but laugh here and there, while reading the letter. It was even more the letter that had lifted her mood, yet the chocolate was, in fact, splendid. Hermione swallowed the second one, when she heard footsteps. She quickly hid the letter under her pillow, pushing the flowers and chocolate under the bed.

Hermione, Merlin's beard we found you finally, - Harry and Ron were breathing heavily, after probably running around and searching for the right room, - How are you?!

Harry, Ron, hi! – She was truly happy to see her best friends, so she lifted herself up in the bed a bit, and gave them a cheerful smile, - Well, actually my leg is badly broken, as Madam Pomphrey says, so it will take some time.

What? But how, Hermione? – Harry looked worried - We didn't even see anything happen to you!

We didn't even see you at the lesson, - Ron added, - Where were you by the way?

Oh, I uh, um, I got so engulfed into reading my book , that I was late for a lesson. I can't believe that happened to me, actually. So, as you have probably understood, I rushed towards the staircase and, -

Boom, - Ron concluded.

Yeah, boom, - Hermione sighted, - Another way to say that.

Boys, you need to go now, she needs rest! Besides don't you have anything to do? – Madam Pomphrey walked in quickly with some afternoon meal, with her eyebrows furrowed, - Off you go.

Yes, they will go right now, just that I need to ask them something first.

Fine, but be quick, because their time is up.

Sure, - Hermione sat up hurryingly, facing Harry and Ron, - Boys, can you please send me all of my books, parchment and feathers? I don't have to tell you how much learning means to me.

Of course, we will, don't worry, - Harry smiled reassuringly, - Take care.

And then, Harry and Ron left the room, accompanied by Madam Pomphrey's angry exclamations. She felt so grateful for having such friends.

Hermione threw herself back on the pillows, after barely touching her food.. She closed her eyes, inhaling the fresh air coming through the window deeply. She fancied the idea of having a small nap, and writing a letter afterwards.


	8. Not That Bad

It Wasn't That Bad.

Draco was strolling around in the yard, after a long hour of Professor Trelawney's lesson. He didn't choose this lesson out of interest, on the contrary, her lessons irritated him. The only reason for him to pick this subject, was the fact, that he had the opportunity to rest and do nothing there. However, at the moment, Draco's thoughts were occupied with something else. He was thinking about Hermione, laying in the infirmary. He wished he could visit her, ask how is she feeling, see her. He could, hypothetically, but he wouldn't. He wasn't ready to reveal himself, and even if he would come without mentioning that he is the one sending her those letters, it would be very suspicious and strange of him. Hermione does not trust him. She hates him, for sure. Draco remembered how she had mentioned the offensiveness of the name 'mudblood' and felt the urge to punch himself in the face. It was his fault. The awful relations between him and Hermione in real life were his fault. Everything that he had ever said or done towards her, had formed this kind of enmity. He sighted. If there is a way to fix everything, and start fresh, like when they were small kids in that St. James park, he will do it. Draco couldn't stand the fact, that all of the letters that he sends to Hermione are anonym, that he has to hide his persona, in order to keep communicating.

Mr. Malfoy, you must go back inside now, - Professor Snape's voice said, - It is almost lunchtime, you shall not be here, outside.

Draco turned around and saw Professor Snape standing right behind him. As much as he wanted to keep walking around, Draco nodded and obeyed. He tried to think of the positive side of returning, - after lunch he will have some time to go to the Slytherin common room, and check if he has any mail. Well, a letter, in particular.

He entered the school, and started walking towards the Dining Hall. Trying to not attract much attention, Draco walked calmly through the corridor, observing the students around him. Kids, teens and adults. All of them were so different, yet same in one thing. They were free. Free to talk to whom ever they want, act however they want, say what they want, think what they want. Be who they want. Draco looked at the laughing faces around, chattering, giggling, friendly pranks, and suddenly realized that he was standing on the same place completely frozen, so he resumed walking. Everything that he had been observing, confirmed, once again, how much Draco wanted to change, or, to be more precise, show his real self. But there were many factors, which had stopped him from doing so. And one of the main ones, was that he had already earned a reputation of a bully, and even though he wasn't quite bullying anyone this year, people got used to it. And if they were already making fun of his silent self, what would happen if he started behaving nice? Then, Draco realized something. He didn't have to be nice to everyone. He didn't even have to be somebody for everyone. He didn't owe them anything, and he didn't want to be friends with everyone. He suddenly understood, that he didn't care if they thought of him bad, let it be. He only wanted to open up his inner self to one person. And that person was currently laying in the infirmary, traumatized.

Then, an idea popped into his mind. Seemed like Draco found a way, to do it, but for that, he needed time. After three months or so, when he does what he had planned, there will be no, 'x', or 'messed up teen', in the end of his letters. Instead, there will be Draco Malfoy.

He finally entered the Dining Hall, snapping back to reality. Draco sat at the Slytherin table, next to Blaze, and started choosing what to put into his plate.

Hey, there, - Blaze looked at Draco momentarily and continued eating, - what took you so long?

Hey, - Draco collected some tomatoes with his fork, - I don't know, did it take me long?

Yeah, actually it did, - Blaze looked at Draco questioningly, yet afterwards turned and continued eating, - whatever.

Mhm, - More interested in eating than talking, at the moment, Draco was glad that Blaze quit asking stuff.

And then I was like, "no, you, muggle-lover's little son, - Pansy was telling a story, in her usual way, - you aren't getting it back", and I just snatched the book of potions out of his hands, without him noticing it.

What, whose? – Draco looked at Pansy, trying to understanding who she was talking about.

The bloody Weasley's, Draco, - Pansy laughed nastily, oinking as she did so, - Wasn't it iconic?

Dull, - Draco replied, and was about to continue his meal, when he realized what she just said. Weasley didn't have the lesson of potions, he was probably taking the book to the owl, to send it to Hermione.

Draco stood up abruptly, the sound that his chair had maid, making the Slytherins close their ears, but he didn't care.

I'm full, - He spat, walking to the dormitory as fast as he could. He couldn't leave Hermione without a book, so he would send his own instead.

Having taken the book already, he pushed it quickly into Ron's owl's package right before it took off. Thankfully, nobody was around to see that, so Draco straightened his tie, and walked more slowly, back to the Slytherin's common room. And there, he saw his own owl, waiting patiently on his desk. Draco, untied the ribbon, connecting the owl and the letter, taking the letter in his hands. He sat on his favorite armchair, which was also the best armchair in the Slytherin's common room, and started reading, happy that he had received a reply.

"Dear Chocolate Gourmet,

Yes, I am currently laying in the infirmary, as you have probably understood by the address on the letter. And to be honest, it is not as bad as I thought it would be. I have received some parchment and feathers, yet the rest of the books, is only about to be delivered. Respectively, I have done only a part of the homework that we were given. Yet, I am trying not to worry about it, since Harry said that the teachers aren't expecting any homework from me at the moment. They have even said that I should rest for a while. But you know me, and I don't do resting like this, haha.

Madam Pomphrey said that my leg is badly broken, and I will need some time to get it healed. Every day before I go to sleep, she gives me a potion called 'Skeleton', which is supposed to put the pieces of my 'scattered bone' back as a puzzle in a week, as she said. I don't like to complain, but ugh, it hurts a lot, actually. As if somebody stamps your leg with a hammer over and over again. But I can take it, so I'm fine.

Also, I have all the time for myself. I'm often left alone, so it is quite nice to let yourself be consumed by different thoughts, that I didn't have time for due to the heavy schedule. Besides, I get to sleep a lot too, which pretty much satisfies me.

Did you know that Madam Pomphrey is a former librarian? She told me all about those times, when she had the entire library to herself. Well, at least, she likes to think so. Actually, I didn't catch up with the whole story, due to zoning out here and there, but in overall, I understood that she loved reading as much as I do, and it's great, because she had some books in her shelf, that she so kindly gave me for the time that I am stuck in here. As you can see, I am quite happy with this. However, I am done describing the environment around me, it really starts getting to me, as if I'll be here forever.

So, you wondered how on Earth I ended up in here? Trust me, I was shocked too, at first. Well, let me tell you what happened, in order to clear up your imaginations about me flying around, trying to stay on the broom awkwardly, and protecting the gates at the same time. In real life, what happened to me is pretty trivial. I was running on the stairs quickly, because of being late for a lesson, which is a rare thing for me. However, my leg must have slipped, and so pleasantly broke. This is pretty much the occurrence.

Thank you for being so sympathetic, it had helped me to get through this quite a lot. Oh and I almost forgot! The flowers that you've sent me are gorgeous! I put them on the window, and now, when the wind blows, I inhale the subtle scent of the peonies. And the chocolate, oh it was truly splendid. I hardly kept myself from eating the whole box in one day, but you can be proud of me, I hadn't! Now you should definitely tell me where have you ordered that chocolate from.

Now that I've told you pretty much everything that is going on in my life at the moment, I would really like to read about your recent couple of days. How have you been? Have you experienced anything special in the past few days?

Sincerely yours,

Hermione Granger

P.S. Nerd Alert question, - do you like reading books?

P.P.S. Now I'm using the chocolate box as support for the parchment, as I do my homework. Thanks."

Draco smiled wildly while reading the letter. Hermione definitely was in a good mood, and he was glad to help her maintain it, and he will make sure to let her know that she is helping him to pull through everything as well.

*later at night of the same day*

Draco sat up in his bed, abruptly waking from his sleep. He was swallowing air convulsively, with his wild heartbeat. He saw the dream. Again. But this time, something was different. The moment when Draco raised his wand, he saw something apart from the green light. It was a part of black mantle, giving him a hint, that it was most probably a student, that he was killing. Scared by his murderous intentions in the dream, Draco was trying to calm himself down. He silently slipped into his shoes, and walked out of one of the dorm's bedrooms. He opened the door of the balcony, wanting to clear his head a bit. As he stepped out, he felt the wind gust blow against his face, making him blink. Draco tried to relax, breathing in the fresh autumn air.


	9. One Step Closer

That Was A Success

A week had passed by now, and having her leg successfully healed, Hermione got out of the infirmary. By that time, she and her new friend had exchanged a couple of letters. Hermione now felt like she was completely comfortable in communicating with that student, whoever that was. Plus, it seemed like she could trust him. Well, otherwise she simply wouldn't describe her mood and emotions with such sincerity. Truth is, she wanted to know the identity of that person very badly, yet she didn't mention anything about it, leaving it to him.

Look who's back, - Hermione heard a detestable voice say, - isn't it our favorite mudblood I see over here? – Hermione tried to pass by indifferently, calming herself down by thinking that she must be used to Pansy's nasty little comments already.

Leaving so soon? Come on Bush- Head, I bet you enjoyed staying in bed and not studying that long? – Pansy was clearly enjoying herself, - Would you teach me that trick you pulled with breaking your leg? It was quite impressing…

Enough, Pansy, - Draco Malfoy stepped in, glancing at Hermione for a moment, and then back at his former bully-mate, - We're late for the lesson, - He looked determined, waiting for Pancy to leave the corridor and follow him.

Since when do you care about lessons? – Pansy crossed her arms, facing Draco.

I'm just annoyed, Pansy, let's go already, - Draco looked at Hermione for a couple of seconds, then started walking away, - Granger is no fun anymore.

Fine, - Being a constant fangirl of his, Pansy walked away, giving Hermione one last glare, - Mudblood. – She didn't know what else to say, so she just used Draco's famous way of offending her.

Hermione was still standing in the hallway, processing everything that just happened. Pansy clearly couldn't live without her disgusting o comments. Hermione blinked, a single tear running down her cheek. She quickly wiped it off, angry that she let herself be offended again. Yet there was something else that had bothered her. When Draco showed up, she thought that he would make things worse, but instead, he did something that she completely didn't expect from him. Why would he stop Pansy from bullying someone? Why would he stop anyone from bullying his favorite target. Hermione was confused by that, yet she couldn't help but feel a bit grateful because, even though Draco made Pansy leave simply because he was bored and late, he still somehow freed her from further bullying. And then Hermione realized that she was late for the Potions lesson too, since just like the Slytherins, Gryffindors had it scheduled too. She walked towards the next corridor quickly, not needing any stairs, fortunately. She hated being late, this had already created enough problems lately, plus professor Snape didn't have the most warm feelings towards the Gryffindors. Making a deep breath, Hermione stepped into the classroom.

I apologize for being late, Professor, - Hermione looked down and then up again, tugging on to her mantle nervously.

Now, now. Just out of the infirmary, and late already? – Professor Snape turned towards her slowly, - take your seat.

Hermione sat at her place as fast as she could (Harry and Ron didn't choose this subject), waiting for the next thing that her teacher was about to say.

Minus five points from Gryffindor, – Professor Snape walked to the center of the classroom as soon as he took the points, and started describing the lesson that they were about to have, - Today our lesson will be slightly…Different, - He clearly seemed to be unpleased by this,- Taking all of the unbearable quarrels that have been going on between colleges recently into account, Professor Dumbledore suggested to make a lesson dedicated to teamwork.

The students started chattering amongst each other.

Silence, - Professor Snape raised his voice, - I will split all of you in pairs, including one student from either of the colleges. Now, listen to your names carefully and spread around at separate tables. Blaze Zabini and Padma Patil, - He heard irritated growls of clearly unsatisfied students, - Next. Vincent Crabbe and Parvati Patil, Gregory Goyle and Lavender Brown, Pancy Parkinson and Dean Thomas, - and so on, and so on.

Hermione shrugged on her place, nervous about who her partner is going to be. Some of the pairs which had already been estimated, managed to get into a fight before even starting to work. Professor Snape's voice was monotonous and boring, so she didn't really pay attention to what he had been saying until she heard her name-

Hermione Granger, - Professor Snape glanced at her, - and Draco Malfoy. Now, you will find all of your assignments and instructions at the tables. Off you go, - Professor grinned evilishly when he observed pure unsatisfaction in the classroom. He sat at his table, and started checking some of the Huflepuff's works.

Hermione blinked, staring at the Professor which was already consumed into something else. She couldn't believe that she was about to work with Malfoy. She could bet that Snape did it on purpose and was now enjoying the sight of unhappy students. Whatever, she wanted to get this done with as soon as possible. She stood up, and started searching for the Slytherin with her eyes, when she heard his very own voice from behind her –

Looking for someone? – He smiled sarcastically.

Oh, you're here. Great, - Hermione looked at him not any less sarcastically than him, and reached for the assignment, studying it carefully.

Would you mind to maybe share it with me? – Hermione as if woke up suddenly, and handed the paper to him.

Right, sorry, - She hated to apologize to him, yet manners were still a thing, and she was still a polite girl.

Hmm, let me think, Granger. Apology accepted, - Draco looked at her teasingly and continued reading the assignment.

Ugh, I'm not in the mood for your jokes, Malfoy, I want to get this done over with.

If you think that I'm enjoying this, than you are very much wrong, Granger, - Well this wasn't entirely true. In fact, Malfoy did enjoy being Hermione's teammate. By looking at her, he was trying to picture her feeling everything that she had described in the letters. However, he said,- Let's just do whatever gets this damn potion done.

Well that is one way to say it. Here are the instructions. First we need to get these rock-like beans cut, - Hermione divided the handful of beans in two parts, and started cutting hers. Being more skilled in this, than Draco, she finished first. Having nothing better to do, she started observing him stealthily. Being fully consumed by work, Draco seemed to be so calm. His eyebrows slightly furrowed in concentration. She turned away and murmured quietly-

Thank you.

Being so engulfed into the silent work, Draco was startled by the sound of her voice and cut his finger accidentaly.

Damn, - He looked at his index finger, it was red right beside his nail. Did she say 'thank you'? –

Can you be any less accurate? – Hermione mumbled rolling her eyes, - Here, - She handed him a bandage that she had in her backpack.

You have a bandage in your bag? – Hermione guessed that was his way of representing gratitude, - Anyways, what is it you said, that so fortunately made me cut myself?

Don't make me repeat myself, - Hermione turned away, dissolving the beans in a hydrochloric acid, - You heard it.

I don't think I did, - Draco grinned slightly.

Whatever, - She knew that Draco heard it, he was clearly entertaining himself,- Forget it.

You're welcome, - Draco finally said quietly, stealing a glance at Hermione.

Hermione looked at Draco for a second, not saying anything and just went back to work. The rest of the lesson they had been making their potion in total silence, which had further on lead to them being the first ones to complete it.

Professor, Snape? We're done, -Hermione raised her hand in her usual way. Draco smiled to himself as she did so.

Well, well, let me see, - Snape eyed the potion, mixed it slightly, checking the consistency, - The consistency chunky, just as it is supposed to be, - He tried out the poition, and when it had successfully made the rat on their tables first go orange, then back to gray, then greasy, and finally bald, he said – Miss Granger, Mr. Malfoy, your potion is perfect. You seemed to go along well together, as you have done an excellent job without any quarrels. Plus 10 points to each college. Now, You have to shake hands and say 'it has been a pleasure to work with you' and then you are free to leave, - Snape turned around and walked back to his table, watching them from his place.

Hermione and Draco pulled out there hands, looking at each other in irritation. Finally they shook hands. Hermione's hands were so small in his own. They were so warm, soft and simply, - beautiful.

It was a pleasure to work with you, - Hermione said in a robotic way, being a responsible person, she said it first.

Oooh, I'll take it as a compliment, Granger, - Draco smirked in his style as Hermione rolled her eyes again. And then he said, more seriously, - It was a pleasure to work with you.

Hermione looked at him for a moment as he did so, trying to understand if that was mockery as well, yet then she thought that how could she even question that having spent a whole lesson of teasy comments. She took her bag and left the classroom, heading to her most favorite place in the entire Hogwarts, - the library. On her way she was thinking about the lesson. Well, it didn't go that bad. Actually, it didn't go bad at all. On the contrary, it was quite interesting, the jokes that he had pulled now and then weren't in an offensive manner, rather teasing. To be completely honest with herself, she had enjoyed the lesson, considering that fact, that the potion was done perfectly, and she had earned some points for Gryffindor. Suddenly her childhood memory in the st. James park had popped into her mind, but she shook her head quickly and started doing her homework.

Draco was in a fantastic mood, for the first time in forever. He was in a team with Hermione, and she seemed to be pretty much iconic. Draco blamed himself so much for thinking of her as of nothing except for a nerd before. She did have a character, indeed. And he happened to like it. Throughout the whole lesson he had the ability to steal a look at her now and then. She looked beautiful when she was concentrated, even when she got angry with him she still looked adorable. Draco smiled and continued his way to the Dining Hall. That lesson had really made him starve, and fortunately, it was dinnertime. Then Draco thought to himself, maybe if he slowly started displaying his nice self to her in little moments like today, there was a chance for him to be redeemed? Today it seemed like they got along quite okay. She even thanked him. Then Draco decided that after dinner he is going to go to his room and write another letter to her. He felt a sudden impulse of joy, that made him believe that step by step he was going in the right direction.


	10. Christmas Shopping

Christmas Shopping

"Dear Hermione,

I feel like there is something terribly wrong in my life. My wish became true! Haha, not really a wish, however I think we both wanted this. We are going to Hogsmead on the 31 of November, which is in two days, and just now I realized that there was no sense to tell you this, because you have most probably saw it already on your desk of notifications. Oh come on, who am I lying to, I just wanted to share my joy with somebody, and I don't think that anyone but you would be as happy.

I guess Christmas won't be as snowy now, huh? Do you think I can get through this? Haha, I guess cold is my second name. Oh wait, after arrogant, of course, let's not forget. So speaking of Christmas, how are you planning to spend it? Are you going home, or staying at Hogwarts? Because I don't think I'll be returning home for the holidays. I don't know, just don't feel like it. Would be better both for my family and me if we don't get to ruin each other's holiday.

By the way did you know that I am crazy about sweets? Probably an unexpected switch. However, the topic of Christmas always throws me to the thought of sweets. Even though me and parents don't have a normal relationship and understanding, they used to send me boxes of best candies when I was smaller. And you won't believe how delighted I was. Thinking of that, I wish it would be just as easy to fix my state with candies now.

Now that I mentioned my state, there is something that I haven't told you yet.. I'm not even sure if I should, because it sounds so childish, stupid and just not worth paying attention to… Okay fine I'll say it. I am having nightmares. See? I did it. To be honest I hate it. You won't believe how annoying it is to see the same dream over and over again, wake up abruptly in the middle of the night and just sit there awkwardly not knowing what to do next. Usually I just go to the balcony, breathing some fresh air, trying to forget what I saw. I just want you to understand that it's not an ordinary nightmare. I feel like everything that happened to my parents in the past and my fears are haunting me. I don't know, maybe I am just a drama queen.

Me.

P.S. I see you accepted the game. Great. The answer to your question is, I'm not from your college for sure, so if you were trying to figure me out in the common room, sorry but it I'm not there.

P.P.S. My question now. How do you usually spend Christmas?

P.P.P.S.( Does this thing even exist?) In case you thought of it, I really wanted to ask you to come to Hogsmead with me, but I can't yet, I am very sorry. I hope you have a wonderful day with whomever you go there."

Draco put the feather aside, folded the parchment, and tied it to his owl's paw. He stretched his slender arms and yawned. It was only the middle of the day, but he already felt like he has a very little amount of energy left, thanks to his current efforts at lessons. Draco sat in the armchair for a few more moments, thinking of the letter that he had just written. Would she even agree if he would invite her? Now he could only guess. Finally, Draco stood up, straightening his expensive tie, and walked out of the Slytherin common room. He had to be at lunch now, yet as soon as he reached the Dining Hall, he saw the flow of students out of it, Professor McGonagoll in front of everybody. Not really sure if he could still go inside and have lunch as much as he wanted to, Draco joined the group of students. He noticed that those were only sixth graders, so he became slightly intrigued by the reason to hinder them from lunch.

After climbing one staircase up, passing through two corridors, they eventually stopped in a huge classroom, which was apparently empty. Draco frowned, trying to understand what was going on. Everybody else seemed to be doing the same thing, so he relaxed that he wasn't the only one unaware. He was ripped away from his thoughts when he heard Professor's voice, who held the wand to her throat in order to sound louder.

Silence, - Professor McGonagoll looked around the class, - You are probably wondering why did I take you all to this class.

Yes we are, - somebody shouted out of the crowd.

One more exclamation like that and I will start taking points, - Professor now sounded slightly irritated, yet the next moment she already had an excited smile on her face, - I brought you all here in order to announce some news.

Draco saw Hermione glance at Ron and Harry in question.

As you all know, Christmas is less than a month away. Some of you will be returning home, some will stay at school. This is why we will celebrate Christmas earlier than the actual day, in order to have everybody involved. Since your holidays start on the twentieth of December, our celebration will be on the nineteenth. We will have a Christmas Dance.

As soon as these words escaped Professor McGonagoll's lips, various reactions were triggered in class. Some were embarrassed, some irritated, others excited. The third group were mostly girls. Draco felt his heartbeat fasten. This Dance was something that he mostly relied on, however now, he was freaking out just like everybody else. The only difference is, that all of his emotions were happening on the inside.

Calm down. I understand that you haven't encountered anything like this before. However, this is a wonderful event. Charismatic boys will be leading graceful girls in the dance, swirling in precise movements of the dance.

George and Fred Weasley started dancing with each other, impersonating excited girls in a mocking way.

Minus five point from Gryffindor, - Professor McGonagoll glared at the twins with dissatisfaction, - One final thing that I want to tell you is the following. The choice of your dance partner is free. You have one week to invite him or her on the Yule dance with you. Now you are free to go to lunch.

Confused and slightly on edge students exited the classroom and hurried to the Dining Hall. It seemed like a new topic of discussion for the following week had been estimated. Pansy passed by Draco, giving him an implying wink. Draco ignored it, and took his place at the Slytherin table. This was it. This dance thing was his chance. This was the perfect opportunity for him to invite Hermione. To finally reveal himself. Stop hiding. Yet his hopes had immediately been poisoned by the fact that Hermione already had Ron and Harry. One of them will definitely invite her. If not them, there were many other guys which will want to be her dance partner. And the reason for that was obvious. She was stunning. And Draco didn't only think of the way she looks, it was her inner world which also consumed him. However, Draco decided to give it a shot and be one of those who invite her. Who knows, maybe he will be lucky enough, because Draco felt like it was either this case or never. He couldn't possibly think of a better way to let her know who he really was.

Draco? – Blaze looked at Draco's face studyingly.

Huh? – Draco blinked, snapping back to the Dining Hall, - What?

I called you like twice already, - Blaze rolled his eyes, - Who are you inviting?

Oh, that, - Draco sighted, pretending to look confused, - I don't know yet.

Don't worry – Pansy laughed nervously, - You still have time, Draco, dear. – She purred.

Okay, well, - Draco stood up, and exited the Dining Hall, the heels of his shoes pounding on the marble floor.

Hermione was delighted with the news of the Yule Dance. However, she was slightly worried as well. Two days past since the announcement. There was this annoying thought which had crawled up to her mind a bit too early. The fear of going alone. Hermione pushed that thought away and decided to wait until somebody invites her. Harry and Ron were already discussing who they want to invite. Hermione knew their crushes and it amused her.

I want to be creative, - Ron said looking at Harry nervously, - Fred and George already managed to get themselves partners!

Well, -

And you know how? – Ron was clearly freaking out, - He just through a piece of parchment at her! Parchment!

Ron, - Harry hardly held himself from laughing, - chill.

Do you already know how to invite Padma? – Ron looked at Harry angrily.

Um no, - Now it was Harry's turn to worry, - But it's still easier for you! Lavender is totally falling for you!

Ugh, - Ron sighted, - we need to do something before it's too late.

Just invite the poor girls already, - Hermione laughed, - And I have to go to the common room, and take some of my other books. Good luck! – She winked at them.

Haha, not funny, - Ron frowned.

Is she invited yet? – Harry followed Ron to the library. They had to find some books for professor Trelawney.

Honestly, man, - Ron murmured as he entered the section of psychic books, - I don't know.

As soon as Hermione entered the girls dormitory, she found a small parchment wrapped with a blue bow around it on her bed. Feeling extremely curious, wondering what it was, Hermione took it in her thin hands and noticed that the content was short. It was a familiar handwriting, curvy and complicated.

"Would you accept me as your partner on the Christmas Dance?

Me."

Hermione felt joy and excitement take over her entire body. She sat on the bad, letting out a little laugh of happiness. The paranoiac thoughts left her instantly. It was him. He invited her to the Dance! Did that mean that… She was about to meet him?! Hermione smiled widly, feeling the impatience grow, yet she tried to calm down, reminding herself that there was still nineteen days to wait. Finally going back to her usual organized state, Hermione decided that she needed a dress. Not just a dress, it had to be fabulous! Hermione took a feather and wrote a letter to her mom, with the purpose of asking her for a dress.

Afterwards, in a hurry (they were going to Hogsmead in 15 mins) Hermione scribbled her answer on the invitation:

"After a long while of contemplating I have finally decided to accept your invitation.

Hermione"

She chuckled to herself, and decided to send it tomorrow, in order not to look so obviously happy. She was a girl, and she had to live up to the girl pride at the end of the day! She put the parchment in her bag, and rushed outside.

Hermione was going to Hogsmead with her friend Padma. Initially, they were planning to do some Christmas shopping, now, however they added the 'Christmas Dance" category as well. Bursting with the girly excitement Hermione found Padma in the crowd of the students in the line and waited for their turn to enter the train.

Hey! – Padma looked at Hermione conspiratorially, - Ready for the shopping?

For sure, - Hermione wiggled her eyebrows and they both laughed.


	11. WHY?

WHY?

It was the nineteenth of December already and Hermione's excitement was bigger than at any other point in her life! First of all, it was the first Christmas dance in her life! Second of all she was about to meet the one person who understood her the best, sent her the most cheering and deep at the same time letters. The person to whom she had already developed certain feelings, despite the fact that their entire communication was happening through letters. Hermione ran to her shelf with clothes in order to look at her dress one more time. A lace dress of a soft cream color, reaching her ankles. Her mother had the best taste in fashion ever! Hermione already tried it on about a week ago, in order to prevent any inconveniences before the dance.

She closed her eyes and threw herself on the pillows. She sniffed the aroma of her own perfume from the blankets and simply enjoyed everything. Her baggage was almost packed, excluding the necessities that she would still need on daily basis. Hermione was going home for Christmas, and this was another reason for her joy. She missed her parents, and was happy to see them again, and share the bright moments which happened to her throughout the year.

Draco was squishing the invitation with Hermione's reply, gritting his teeth. He closed his eyes, frowning hardly, trying to balance his breath. Finally, Draco opened his eyes, and started searching for some parchment and feather. His emotions were above overwhelming, making him feel it nearly physically. Dumping the feather into the ink, Draco thought of the best way to put the sentences in the letter.

"Dear Hermione,

This is my most hated letter that I have ever sent you. At this very moment I am struggling to write pretty much anything, because I feel like a total jerk, knowing what I am about to tell you.

Hermione, it seems like i will not be able to accompany you at the Dance. It is terrible, I don't even know how a girl would feel alone, yet I am sure that there are plenty of guys dying to dance with you. And you know what, the reason is more than obvious. Only a fool or a blind person won't call you out. I'm not blind, well I guess I am definitely the first option. However, I have to tell you that it is not my choice. This evening with you was the one thing that I wanted in my life the most. And I still do.

The reason for this whole situation is that, I am leaving home tomorrow. I have received a letter from my parents where they have stated that I, will no longer be a Hogwarts student. My father has all of the documents needed to put me in the Durmstrang school. A dream that he had since my very birth. I am not in the position to protest it as much as I want to. Expecting this already, my father completed all of the needed procedures, and technically, I am a Durmstrang student already. Damn it!

Now that I thought of it, maybe it is better for you this way. I am no good person for you Hermione. My life is all too grey and complicated, and I don't want you to deal with that at all. You deserve the best. And I, more than anything, know that I am the worst friend for you.

And even considering all of this, I couldn't help the feelings that I have towards you. Since the very first time that I saw you, and I mean the very first time. In the St. James park, I felt like you weren't an ordinary girl. Later on, at school, every year, I was watching you, when you didn't see it. I was stealing glances at you now and then. I had an awfully stupid way to hide what I really thought of you. And here it is. I think, that you are the most wonderful girl in the entire world. You are smart, caring, incredibly kind, compassionate, open-minded, and insanely beautiful. Every year, I watched you bloom more and more, like the most beautiful rose. Nobody is worth the world inside of you. I would never be allowed to be friends with you by my father. And I was such an idiot not to protest it. I should just admit it to you already. I love you, Hermione. So much.

There is one more thing that I have to do. Apologize. For everything that I have ever done to you. For abandoning you as a friend, for ignoring you, for making offensive comments, calling you names, bullying, bringing up personal matters, pranking you. I am sorry for calling you a mudblood, Hermione. I am sorry for destroying your mood, and wounding your pride. I am sorry for pretending to hate you Hermione.

Thank you for being a wonderful friend and supporter.

I wish you the happiest life,

Good bye."

Hermione read the letter over and over again, trying to figure out where is the catch, where did he trick her? She didn't even care about the dance anymore. She was worried about the fact that her friend was moving to a different school, not even seeing her before. The very fact that he was disappearing from her life after months of friendship haven't sunken in yet. That was no ordinary friendship. It was trust. Giant part of their relationship. The very fact that it existed. Hermione shared her feelings and thoughts with him through letters, not even knowing who he was. And he helped her. Supported her, made her laugh, having his own problems. These five months were the brightest months in her life. If somebody would ask her, she wouldn't even be able to explain what attracted her in this kind of friendship so much. Yet she felt it. On an unconscious level she knew it. Communicating with him was consuming.

She was hardly holding her tears back, when suddenly, it struck her. She memorized the last paragraph, and immediately, the world stopped. She didn't care about anything else anymore. She picked up the hem of her dress and ran. Out of the girls dorm, out of the gryffindor common room, out of her previous life. Everybody was already at the dance. Hermione stopped running in front of one particular door.

Hesitating for a moment, she remembered the password that she heard from some student, and pronounced it. After a moment, the door cracked open, and Hermione stepped into the Slytherin common room. It was empty. There was nobody inside. Hermione closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. She was doing it. She had to. It is either now or never. She had to know. Hermione made her way to the boys' dormitory. As much as it was unfair, girls were able to enter the boys' dorm, and that was exactly what Hermione was going to do.

Feeling her heartbeat fasten with every second, and her breath becoming more difficult, she opened the door. She felt slightly relifed, when she found herself in a small corridor divided into several bedrooms, with names written on them. Founding the one that she needed, Hermione knocked on the door.

Go away, Blaise! – She heard a voice shout out of the room.

Hermione took the handle of the door and opened it.

There he was. Just as always, tall, blond, and frowning, Draco Malfoy was packing his stuff. The whole bedroom was a mess, and his hair just as well. He was putting, or, to be more precise, throwing another sweatshirt in his bag angrily, when he noticed her.

Hermione froze right where she was standing. Her warm brown eyes locked with his deep, blue eyes, filled with resentment. Yet, at this very moment, the only thing that she could see in his eyes, was shock. Instantly, all of Hermione's situations with Draco, every single word, gesture, tear, everything flashed back in her memory. Every single smile that he gave her in first grade, every word that he would throw at her later on. Every single time he called her a mudblood, bullied her. Then, every single potions lesson, every conversation, sarcastic comment, joke, that little glance that they exchanged. Every single time that he held her hand in his own. And then, all of the pieces of the puzzle started building up. She thought of the letters. Each and every word that the secret student had written to her. Every problem, thought or feeling that he described to her. Now that she thought of it. It matched perfectly. And then, the image of the invitation appeared in her mind. He wanted to tell her.

This very moment, Draco's mind was racing just as fast as Hermione's. How did she enter? Why is she here? Did anyone send her? Did she know? At this thought Draco, once again, proved to himself that he is a fool. He himself, apologized for everything in the last letter, and Hermione, unlike him, not being a fool, understood everything. She realized that it was him. Malfoy. The boy who ruined her school life. Digging deeper and deeper every year. Yet, she was here. Why? To mock him? Scold him? Shout, scream, cry? To yell at him, because she thinks it all was a big fat joke? Or slap him in the face? Even though every single thing that he had written in the letters was true, he still thought that he would deserve it. He prepared himself for the worst. He was already disappointed, by convincing himself that he failed to be her friend. To be nice. He was about to look away, and maybe say something when he couldn't understand what just happened.

In split second, from standing in the doorway, Hermione was in his hands, tugging onto his shirt, crying.. She was hugging him. Finally realizing what just happened, Draco hugged her back. He squeezed her gently, putting his chin on her beautiful head. He couldn't stop the tears running down his cheeks. Hermione accepted him. She trusted him, and even after finding out who he was, she didn't give up on him. She was here.

And there they stood like that, tugging to each other, sobbing.


	12. I am sorry

I AM SORRY..

You are here, - Draco said hugging Hermione even harder, to make sure it was real.

I am, - Hermione said closing her eyes, - I am here.

After living this moment for a couple of more seconds, they finally parted. Draco observed Hermione carefully slowly smiling, with sadness in his eyes.

You are so beautiful.

Oh please, - Hermione said chuckling through tears, - Draco..

Yes?

What do we do? – She whispered looking up at him.

We? – Draco asked staring right in her eyes, - You don't have to do anything. It's my problem.

Draco, - Hermione said seriously, - we are in this together.

Together?.. – Draco stepped aside, surprised.

Of course, - Hermione said a bit louder, taking his hand, - Together.

Hermione, it's.. It's impossible, I'm departing tomorrow, - He suddenly went back, continuing to pack his stuff.

What? – Hermione mumbled, - Draco we have time to discuss our plan.

Forget about plans, Hermione, - Draco said with a broken voice, - It's all over for me now. You should go.

Why are you being like this?! – Hermione cried, grabbing his hand, but he took it away, - Draco, stop!

Leave, Hermione, - Draco said not looking at her, - You want no part of this. I am sorry.

Hermione glared at him in disbelief, extremely confused. She stood there for a moment, breathing heavily, waiting for him to do something. But he didn't. With her heart broken, she turned and ran away from the room, the boys' dormitory, the Slytherin common room, from him.

Draco punched the bed with all the force he had, shouting out, frustrated. He lost her. He didn't control himself anymore. Hot, angry tears, running down his face, Draco threw everything down, ruining his entire room, and ran. He ran as fast as he could. Why is he like this? How could he be like this? Let a girl like that go. Let Hermione go. He chased her as fast as possibl;e, yet she wasn't anywhere to be seen. Draco was desperate. His gaze looked wildly at all of the doors in front of him, but he couldn't find the right one. One more lap, again, and again, one after another, until he finally reached it. The Gryffindor common room. Not knowing the password, Draco started knocking on the door, with all the force he had. No answer. Everybody was at the party. Except one person, Hermione. And she didn't open the door to him. And she wouldn't ever, Draco thought to himself. She won't ever let him anywhere close to her ever in her life. Well, technically, she won't have to see him again, starting off with tomorrow. Suddenly, Draco felt a firm hold on his shoulder.

Impossible! It was impossible! Hermione threw herself on the bed, crying loudly. How can he be like that? Why didn't he let her help him? Was she right, was he simply using her until he could finally leave? No, no, he wasn't like this. He isn't like this. Or, is he? It was hard for Hermione to think anything of him, really now that this happened. First he hugs her, not wanting to let go, and then asks her to leave, She simply wanted to help. To help him stay. Why is he so sure that she won't be of any help? How can he know what she feels, and truly wants? Was there any sense to do pretty much anything know that she failed to do the one thing that she wanted the most. She lost him. She lost Draco Malfoy. She didn't believe that there was hardly anything to do right now. Or maybe there was? She didn't want to think of it anymore. A great headache was slowly occupying her, and with a hig temperature, and sunken in tears, she fell asleep.

So you, Mister Malfoy, are trying to tell me that you didn't want to make any noise on purpose?

Yes, I am, - Draco said rubbing his forehead tiredly, - Can I please leave now?

I am afraid you can't do it at the moment. I have to discuss the situation with Professor Dumbledore.

What, - Draco sighted, irritated, - why?

Because, sitting here for thirty minutes already you still haven't told me what happened.

But I told you, Professor Snape, - Draco tried to remember his lie, - I was just hurrying to the Dance.

In case you forgot, Mister Malfoy, - Professor Snape said raising his eyebrow, - The Dance room is in a completely opposite direction to the Gryffindor common room.

Draco had nothing to say to this. He simply sank in the armchair closing his eyes, feeling how is completely miserable.

You will have to stay in Hogwarts for an extra day, - Snape said folding his hands, - The issue has to be discussed with Professor Dumbledore and McGonagoll, tomorrow. Since at the moment they are at the stupid dance, and you aren't looking even close to presentable, Malfoy.

Draco looked at his reflection in a bookshelf behind Snape's chair. Messed up, sweaty hair, a dirty, torn shirt, and ruined pants.

Is it necessary?, - Draco asked without a point really.

Oh I assure you, - Snape was angry and confused for sure, - The damage you have caused to the school's property and silence at such an hour. Besides, I haven't expected this of you at all.

Sure you weren't, - Draco mumbled, frustrated

Excuse me? – Professor Snape sat forward, - Would you repeat what you just said, Draco?

Does it really matter? – Draco spat, - I am tired of hearing these words of dissatisfaction, discontent, and total disappointment. I already know it, alright?

Draco got up from the chair and left Snape completely astonished, slamming the door. He is so sick of everybody constantly reminding him of what a failure he really is, and doesn't fit literaly anywhere. And the only person that he blamed for it was himself. He never took action, never got the gits to stand up to someone, to finally make the change that he wanted so badly. He wasn't loosing now either. With sudden enlightenment, Draco understood that he should get his shit together and finally act as a man. Tomorrow, he has the whole day, and he will do all it takes to put things back in place.

Hermione woke up in the middle of the night from feeling a sudden gust of wind in her face. She opened her eyes slightly, trying to focus. The reason for the coolness in the room, was the open window. Hermione gor up and closed it. Just now she realized that she was still in her dress. Waking up completely in this one moment, everything that happened earlier flashed in front of Hermione's eyes. Hermione rubbed her eyes, exhausted and looked at the time: 3:30 AM. Great. All of the girls were already back, sleeping merily. Happy after the Dance.

Hermione walked to the bathroom tiredly, and looked up in the mirror. Her entire world was ruined, taken away from her. Hermione opened the shower, and stood under the hot water. Letting herself relax finally, Hermione started contemplating the situation more rationally now. Eventhough, it was the middle of the night, to her it felt like to be the best moment to get herself back together in silence. What happened wasn't correct surely. Both of them were nervous, happy and scared at the same time. But above all, confused. None of them quite knew what to do in order not to harm each other. Hermione realized just now, that all he did or said, was out of love, simply to keep her safe. After changing back into her pajamas, she accidentally dropped the toothpaste tube on the marble floor. The sound reminded her of some noise that she heard earlier that night through her sleep. Was it in her dream , or was it maybe Draco, trying to talk to her? She can't be sure now. Hermione decided that she would figure everything out tomorrow, and try to get to Draco, but at the moment she really had to get some sleep. As she was drifting off into sleep, or she could think of was picturing his face. So handsome, aristocratic, mesmerizing. The platinum hair falling down on his thin face in exasperation, those big blue eyes which glanced deeply at her with so many emotions and words unsaid…


End file.
